Ever heard of a user error? It’s the official-ish way of saying that your computer, phone, or other device that seems to having problems isn’t the source of the problem… you are.
Let’s say you buy some external speakers for your laptop, you connect them, and they don’t work. There’s a real problem if you’ve done everything right, but it’s user error if you keep plugging them into the microphone jack instead of the headphone jack. Here is another one, the computer keeps crashing, and you keep rebooting it and still receive the same error like “Missing OS”. (If you still have a 1.44MB floppy drive installed, check on that floppy disk… Someone forgot it was left in the drive. Newer common issue, are bootable USB drives)
Unfortunately, your pompous techie friend, IT help desk agent, or tech support rep will, on occasion, use his or her knowledge of your lack-of-knowledge to poke some fun at your user errors.
You may not know the difference in an EEOC, HAL, or ID-10T issue, but the techie you ask for help from does… and knows you don’t. One of those is a real problem, and the other two are not-so-nice ways of making fun of you without you knowing!
Here’s a comprehensive list of euphemisms for what the pretentious techie you’re talking to really wants to say: you’re an idiot without you noticing.
ID-10T: The “IDIOT” Error
That’s right – this one goes right to heart of it.
Pronounced as eye-dee-ten-tee, this is an “old favorite” among the tech savvy. It rolls off the tongue and sounds as legitimate as any other computer jargon you might hear.
“Hey Bob! Yeah, that issue with your mouse sounds like an ID-10T error. Try plugging it in to the right port and see if that helps.”
PEBKAC: Problem Exists Between Keyboard And Chair
Your techie friend is so funny, isn’t she? How creative to physically map out the source of the problem for you!
This one is usually spoken as a word, pronounced as peb-kak.
More often than not, I see PEBKAC kicked around internally among tech support groups so you may have never heard it yourself.
“I swear… nothing but PEBKAC calls today.”
Sometimes you’ll see this one as PEBCAK (swapping chair and keyboard). Other times you’ll see computer or monitor swapped for keyboard, making for all sorts of variations on this one, like PEBCAC or PEBMAC.
PICNIC is a related one I see more often these days, probably because it’s so easy to remember. This stands for Problem In Chair Not In Computer.
EEOC: Equipment Exceeds Operator Capabilities
This one sounds so technical that it almost doesn’t feel mean.
“Look, we’ve tried everything. I guess it’s just an EEOC. Not much I can do for you there.”
The implication here is pretty clear: you’re not smart enough to use whatever you’re having trouble with.
RTFM: Read The Freaking(Fucking) Manual
This one seems to me like more an anger-filled reaction than a statement about your intelligence, but I have seen this used in support forums more than once.
“Interesting problem… sounds like you need to RTFM!”
Code 18: The Problem is 18″ Away From the Screen
Another “proximity” joke here, although I personally find 18″ a bit close to sit to my screen.
“I don’t know what else to tell you. Must be a Code 18, which there is nothing at all I can do about.”
The metric version of this joke is Code 40 or Error 40, so don’t let your centimeter-using friends slip one by you.
Please know, however, that there actually is a Code 18 error that you could see yourself – it’s a Device Manager error code. No, it’s not Bill Gates giving you a hard time – it means that you need to reinstall the device drivers for whatever hardware you see it on in Device Manager.
Layer 8: That’s You
The OSI model is a way of looking at how computer systems communicate. The “deepest” layer is Layer 1, the physical layer, and ends at Layer 7, the application layer – the one you and I interact with.
If you bring the OSI model a bit further out, you get Layer 8 (you), Layer 9 (your organization), and Layer 10 (your government).
“I’ve looked at your problem from every angle and determined it to be a Layer 8 issue.”
This is certainly one of the more geeky ways to insult anyone without an IT degree.
More User Error Jokes
Here’s an extensive list of user error jokes, mostly for your reference so you can respond appropriately, but let’s be honest… they’re sometimes fun to dish out, too.
|Implies a low capacity for learning (1K is tiny)
|Chair 2 Keyboard issue
|Carbon Based Error
|The problem is 18″ away from the screen
|Error Between Computer And Chair
|Error Behind Keyboard
|Equipment Exceeds Operator Capabilities
|Equipment Smarter than Operator
|Human Keyboard Interface Error
|Ignorant Operator Error (from legit Input/Output Error)
|The “IDIOT” Error
|You are Layer 8 in the OSI model
|Operator Headspace Error
|Problem Exists Between Keyboard and Chair
|Problem In Chair Not In Computer
|Reboot Computer, Slap Operator
|Read the Freaking Manual
|Too Stupid To Operate
|User Perception Issue
Did I miss any?